The Power of Play and Adventure

Play is a word unfortunately synonymous with only children.  Einstein states that:

“Play is the highest form of research.”

During my time as a child therapist over at Kidango, I would closely observe the pre-school children playing with their toys.  You see, what I’ve learned is that play for children is not just play. It’s actually work. It’s how they learn to create, adapt and imagine situations in their minds which allows them to gather deeper concepts of thinking and analysis.  And along with play, adventure is synonymous. With play comes adventure. As Carl Jung stated, each of us humans has archetypes within us all that are connected to the greater unconscious. Within all of us there is a hero, a magician, a king, a lover, and many more archetypes that we can figuratively imagine.  Play and adventure allows us to experience a realm in this reality that feels like a dream within a dream. It is a liminal space that allows us to feel our highest self experiencing the power of synchronicity, depth and a universal feeling of awe. When we follow our passions in life, we are able to tap into more of this space which in turn makes us feel alive and super present. Which is why I do many of my client sessions in nature as it creates within us a feeling of awe and wonder which an office can never replicate.  Us humans are hardwired for adventure and play. If we don’t play then we become depressed. 

Children usually are at their peak imagination before high school.  The high school system in America is unfortunately is designed to suppress the imagination of children and provide them a cookie cutter approach to education which tends to be bland, boring and just regurgitation of unapplied theoretical information.  A funny story to share, I remember when I first went inside a kindergarten classroom on my first day at Kidango and what I saw was indeed peculiar.  On one end of the room I saw 2 girls sitting together at the table and talking with their dolls, having a make-believe conversation which went along the lines of “hey Jessica, here’s your cup of tea, I hope you like it :)”.  Then I turned my head to look to the other side of the room and I saw two boys from across the room run towards each other and they just collided in a neanderthalic fashion by screaming “ahhhhhhhh”. This display of behavior between the boys and girls was in stark contrast.  To me it meant that girls generally tend to develop their soft skills at a very early age whereas boys are generally more kinesthetic in their learning through touch and body movement. Simply put, the divine feminine is more fluent in communication and connection whereas the divine masculine is more action-oriented competitive.  

For children in particular, play allows them to use their imagination, play different roles and step into a make believe world which inspires them with creativity and joy.  You see, the reason why over 53% of Americans are unhappy at work is because Corporate America is usually a place where people trade in their time and energy in exchange for financial stability aka a “steady paycheck”.  For many people, this tradeoff is something that over time starts eating at their soul and they begin to become depressed. One word of advice to you; “don’t settle”.  If you have a dream and I know most people do, then “go after it!”. We only have one life and we must follow our heart’s calling like it’s the only thing that truly matters.  It’s because those 53% of working Americans are not playing anymore with their imagination and have taken mundane jobs to anchor their daily lives. Think it this way, if you force a child to listen to a boring lecture what is he/ she going to do? Most likely suffer and start crying in pain and agony.  Well imagine a corporate worker who hates their job and they have to do it daily 8 hours a day, plus traffic and having to report to their tool of a boss and toxic coworkers. Yes, that person would indeed fall into the 53%. It’s unfortunate that the school system doesn’t teach about entrepreneurship because living in a country that rewards capitalism, to be an employee rather than a business owner is an unappealing tradeoff.  Granted, not everyone is built to be an entrepreneur, but for those who are, it’s about being creative, providing solutions to people and making the world a better place. Us humans are designed to create, to be creative and always think in big picture about how we can help the planet become a better place to live in for all of us through environmental sustainability, abundant agriculture, cultural acceptance of all and global compassion.  

Now when it comes to taking action, let’s look at this theory:

Forrest Gump Theory:

This theory basically states that people who are action-oriented will prosper in life as opposed to people who only contemplate and take little to no action.  Even if a person is not a genius (aka Forrest Gump) their actions will create a ripple effect in the universe which will allow more doors and opportunities to open for them, thus providing them success in the long term.  Action trumps extreme contemplation. There are a lot of dumb millionaires out there who have excelled in

their business and life because they simply got an idea and did it, rather than many geniuses out there who kept questioning themselves and going into an “analysis-paralysis” type of stagnant pattern.

Our millennials and young kids like you are an untapped resource in our planet and global consciousness.  The Baby Boomers are getting old and the way they’ve handled things is nothing short of catastrophic through the merciless politics of our corrupt congressional government, uncapped wars of torture and demolition of innocent civilians and pure degradation of the resources of our planet.  Now it is upto us take charge and change the way things that have been done. It is time to change the status quo from “me” to “we”.  

We are One.

5 Qualities That Will Lead to A Happier Life

Let’s face it. Living in this day and age is stressful.

Our phones are buzzing constantly, we’re getting notifications from Facebook every minute and it seems like our uncles are on a diabolical plan to send us the most random videos on Whatsapp.

Enduring this onslaught of information can make us feel overwhelmed, burnt out and even depressed. All it leaves us begging for is true genuine connection in the end.

So I’ve devised 5 qualities that will help you in cultivating a happy & fulfilled life:

#1) Gratitude

Practicing gratitude helps us see the good in any situation and allows to overcome any challenges in life. If you’re not feeling “successful enough, pretty enough or smart enough” then start counting your blessings and you’ll see that life isn’t so bad. By also training our mind to see the good in everything we begin to experience the goodness in everything!

#2) Kindness

Practicing kindness allows us to develop our empathetic abilites and to be able to develop a sense of altruism in the world. Just smiling at someone can make their day!

#3) Humility

When we practice humility we create a space of curiosity in our heart and mind which allows us to develop more meaningful interactions with others. Practicing humility means to look within ourselves and see that we are not the center of the universe. Arrogance has been the downfall of many great people and we need to be humble once again.

As Jesse Jackson once said famously about humility:

“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.”

#4) Purpose

Finding your anchor. Ask yourself “what is something in this world that I stand for and will go to the ends of the earth for?”. That is your anchor. It can be your family, friends, values. Things which you are passionate about.

#5) Service

Service is how you serve the world. Finding ways in which you help your community or those around you. When you serve the world is when you are truly fulfilled. As Muhammad Ali said “Our service to humanity is our price for rent on this earth.”

Call To Action

Start your day out with these in your awareness and see how big of an impact it makes in your life.

Have an awesome week!

Trust The Process

This life is short.  Our pleasures are fleeting and each breath we take brings us closer to our grave.  So let’s approach each day wisely & live with purpose.  Our greatest success lies in our pure reliance of God.  When you feel like you have nothing, start counting your breaths, you will realize just how lucky you are being full of life.  When you feel lonely just remember that God is always with you.  In fact, yesterday night I said something which surprised me. It was that “God is more present with us than we are with ourselves.” God is always with us.  It’s just us who become numb & ignore all the signs around us.  There’s a saying “people ask God for cake, but when He gives them eggs, flour & milk they still complain.” Remember, our blessings may not come exactly the way we envisioned them.  We’re praying to God for a tall tree but we become fixated on the tree.  Only God knows what’s best for us.  And if our prayers are aligned with purpose then God will gift us with the seeds today that will become that tree tomorrow.  Being grateful when we have nothing is what makes us rich.  Being kind when we’re out of patience is what makes us compassionate.  Muhammad Ali said that he only started counting his pushups when it started hurting.  Our true journey begins when we become uncomfortable.  If you’re comfortable right now then ask yourself, am I truly awake? Am I truly following my purpose or am I just walking aimlessly in life.  Life is short, but very long for those who consider it aimless.  Aim high, know that even the poorest man today may become a King tomorrow.  Even the loneliest woman may find the love of her life tomorrow.  Our pleasures in life are fleeting, but our divine connection to God is permanent and the most powerful.  It all starts with a simple “Thank You God for Everything” ❤️

5 ways to treat anxiety & depression

Life is indeed an interesting journey. One day you may be on top of the world and the next you may be scraping by at the bottom of your emotional ladder. This week alone for me has brought with it a flurry of emotions and I’ve discovered many truths about myself.

1. I’m not alone in this — My friends have also shared similar feelings of anxiety and feeling heavy.

Learning to appreciate the dark — I’ve always been a pusher of positive psychology and visualizing positive things all the time but yesterday I was reading Osho’s views on it and he called it straight BS. He mentioned the appropriateness of having both light and darkness in our lives because focusing on only one spectrum of life is limiting and downright delusional. A perfect balance is reached when we are able to sit with both the good and the bad.

Which takes me to this revelation:

2. There are no binaries.

From a mindfulness perspective, we are simply observers of our thoughts and it is not the event but our perception of an event that creates “chaos or harmony” in our lives.

Once we begin to see life as a journey filled with nuances of light and dark do we begin to see things differently.

I’m learning that life doesn’t always have to be about “good this…good that..” It’s as if I’m training my mind to focus on only the positive experiences and ignore the dark ones.

If that were the case then I would be elated and filled with ecstatic joy but I’m not and that’s because I haven’t been sitting with my pain.

Rather than sitting with the pain, I’ve been ignoring it with pleasure.

Call it distractions by eating delicious food, hanging out with friends or watching Netflix, I haven’t been very mindful lately and that’s why I’ve been feeling so blue inside. And here’s the third revelation:

3. It’s okay to feel blue — you may think that you shouldn’t feel sad or society may tell you that there’s something wrong with you to feel that way but it’s okay.

It’s okay to feel sadness and we should allow ourselves the courage and freedom to dig deep and discover why we feel that way.

Just like a child who is acting out, they’re not doing it for not reason. They’re either hungry, sleepy or agitated by something. There’s always a reason. Just like that, us humans always have a reason for our depression.

We just need to take a few deep breaths and take ourselves out of our mind.

Mindfulness is key.

What’s helped me the most in this journey is that it helps to know that we are not our thoughts but simply observers. And the most liberating thing in the world is to know that our feelings are telling us something.

Who knows, perhaps it is this very same feeling of depression which may be the catalyst for you to achieve something great.

As the saying goes: “One must follow the shit to find the pony”…

Call to Action

So here are a few steps I’ve taken that have helped me in this time of reflection.

1. Reflecting — just sitting quietly and thinking on a meta level has helped greatly. Sometimes just seeing yourself in third person helps you to make wiser decisions. We often give such great advice to our friends but fall short on ourselves. Reflecting breaks this barrier that we create.
2. Listening to spiritual teachers — I’ve been listening to Sadghuru talks on YouTube lately and the man has some serious wisdom!
3. Practicing Mindfulness — I’ve been practicing mindfulness and it’s helped me in many ways. Just having the reminder that “we are not our thoughts but merely the observer of our thoughts” has helped me ten fold in my internal process.
4. Writing — just writing my thoughts out the first thing in the morning has been such a calming experience. It really helps to get your thoughts out on paper.
5. Practicing gratitude & being in the moment — just knowing that tomorrow isn’t promised and today may be my last day allows me to appreciate my immediate surroundings and my friends & family more.

I’ll leave you with a poem by Rumi that is always a treasure trove in times of despair.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

How to have a blissfull morning

Most mornings when I wake up my mind heads straight for the phone, ready to digest all the information to fill my mind’s blank state.

But today is going to different.

Today I’m going to first take a few deep breaths and just appreciate the sounds of the birds chirping outside.

While I listen to the chirps I also notice the beautiful sunlight radiating its' splendor across the trees.

So many shades of green I see…what a delight to my eyes.

So today was indeed a great morning.

Instead of turning on my phone and heading straight for the Trump infested news, my mind is in a state of gratitude.

Now that is mornings done right ❤

Hope you have an amazing day

5 Signs You’re Dealing with an Energy Vampire

Ever heard of the term “energy vampire” before? It’s sounds like something that’s right out of an R.L. Stine novel. The term has been used again and again in pseudo-scientific references and is a widely accepted concept in the realm of energy healing. I remember long discussions with one of my energy healing mentors Diane who would tell me about people that would latch on to the energies of other people in rooms. From my derived research in the paranormal, energy vampires are not mythical creatures but people who function at a very low vibrational energy. These are people who thrive off of drama and make it their purpose in life to bring down all those whom they come across. Simply put, these are immature, self-centered individuals who use other people for their manipulative ways.

From an ontological perspective, EV’s (Energy Vampires) are simply people who have not psychologically matured. They are like a hurt child on the inside and lack the mental tools of resilience required to function as a healthy emotionally intelligent human being. Science still hasn’t figured out why some people exhibit these low vibrational energy patterns but if you study some psychological personality disorders, you will see that many illustrate a genetic predisposition to these EV-like symptoms but there are other possible reasons how one’s environment can predispose a person to becoming an EV. Be it sexual abuse or any forms of extreme abuse in childhood, bad parenting, or having horrible role models, all these can be triggering factors.

In my experience training as a Therapist, I encountered many energy vampires. They’re easy to pick out as they lack empathy, are self-centered, exhibit jealousy, envy and a plethora of volatile emotions. Simply put, these people scream drama and there’s never a dull moment with them. Here are 5 signs that you’re dealing with one:

1. They Lack Empathy — These people will just say outright mean things to you! They have a way with words and their tongue can be a sharp ax, cutting through your soul with their harsh words. Don’t even think about fighting with this person because they are always ready to pounce on an opportunity for an argument. You’re usually always available for them emotionally but once you start divulging your sad stories, they don’t show as much interest. No matter how hard you try, you just cannot force them to show you as much love as you show them.
2. They’re Childish — No matter how old they get, these people are always going to act like they’re little children. You’ll think you’re in front of a 40 year old but take away the physical appearance and you’re left with the persona of a 5 year old child. In my humble opinion, EV’s are people who have not psychological grown and are emotionally immature. They’ll argue over little petty things and hold grudges. Don’t even think about taking that last pizza slice that they’ve been eyeing because if you do, you’ll be on their shit list!
3. They’re Inauthentic — EV’s have a remarkable pattern of not being genuine. They simply follow what others are always up to and value themselves through more materialistic ways. They will judge a person by their looks, background, money or status. They will suck up to and try to impress any person who has money but if they’re in the same room with someone of lower privilege then forget about it! They won’t initiate in any relationship with a person whom they do not see a gain with.
4. They Gossip — This is their bread and butter folks! An EV symptom list cannot be complete without this one. They have a knack for picking up small details about a person and are more than happy to share those opinions with the rest of the world. Rather than focus on 1 good thing about a person, they would much rather pick up 99 blemishes in a person’s character and even create lies about them. Gossip is just something they enjoy to occupy their time with. Remember the saying: “Small minds discuss people, medium minds discuss events & great minds discuss ideas”? These guys love to discuss people and rarely anything else so beware!
5. They’re Overly Dramatic — According to EV’s, since the world revolves around them, if you cause discomfort to them in the smallest of ways you’re going to hear about it! They have an air of narcissism and for some reason there’s always something bad happening in their life. It’s like they only choose to focus on the negative and play a story on their mind that everyone is bad and out for them. They love drama because they feed off of it. They don’t like to see people in harmony so they like to stir the pot and create chaos in any good situation. Because they’re so unhappy with themselves, they just want to make others around just as much miserable.

So there you have it. I know, it’s not a very uplifting topic but give yourself some self-care and avoid these kinds of people. They really have nothing of value to offer you and fake smiles hide their envy towards you. So that’s a wrap but because I have such a passion for this topic, I’m going to write out 5 more traits for you!

6. They will bring your energy down — Ever leave a conversation with a person feeling like you just watched a depressing video? Yep, this person just sucked all the positive energy right out of you. A friend of mine always told me, “Shayan, there are 2 types of people, those who offer us life-giving conversations and those that offer us life-taking conversations.” If you feel just negative energy oozing around a person then this person will offer you life-taking conversations! Nothing inspiring about them but simple misery….And as they say “misery loves company” so watch out!

7. They love bringing others down — According to them, if they’re not happy with their lives then why should you be? They’re fragile people and they want to break you down till you’re just as weak as them on the inside. If they see you happy, they’re not going to like that. It’s like a child who sees you with a shiny new toy and wants to take it away from you because it doesn’t have one itself so why should you. Just don’t ever share your happiness with them because they’ll envy you and never be genuinely happy for your blessings.

8. They’re genuinely unhappy people — This is a trait for more intuitively advanced people to dissect about a person’s demeanor on the inside but EV’s just aren’t happy on the inside. They’re unhappy with their lives and their constant negative thoughts aren’t a big help either.

9. They’re copy catters — They’re not original and they love to follow the crowd. There’s just not a whole lot of originality to their bone.

10. They love giving you the evil eye ;) — In many Middle Eastern traditions, the evil eye is something that people give to others whom they envy. EV’s have an unusual way of always noticing something about a person and with their envious eyes, can strike invisible arrows of damage to the other person they are noticing. Always create a protective psychic shield around yourself when you’re with them. Wearing protective amulets of gemstones also help greatly.

I hope after reading this list, you’re reconsidering many of your friends in your circle. Chances are that you know quite a few of them. Like attracts like and if you notice yourself attracting many people who display qualities like these then you may be functioning at a low level yourself. Raise your vibration through positive thinking along with practicing gratitude and really begin to reflect upon yourself if you tend to fall into negative patterns.

5 Reasons Why it’s Going to be Alright

Life has a pretentious way of throwing curve balls at us. Some days we’re elated & feeling on top of the world and other days it feels like we’ve hit rock bottom. But don’t let that get you feeling down on yourself because you’ve been through this before. In fact you’ve been through a lot worse! So here are 5 reasons why everything’s going be alright.

1. You’ve got a great support system — Be it your mother, brother, sister, dad or your quarky best friend from childhood, you have people in your life who are always there to lend a shoulder to cry on. Whenever the going gets tough you’re fortunate enough to have someone who’s going to encourage you and share that large tub of Haagen Daz with you over a night of Netflix binging. It’s going to be alright ;)
2. You are a tough S.O.B. — You might not realize this but you’re alot stronger than you think you are. You’ve also been an anchor for others during their times of distress at times! If others tried to be in your shoes they may be returning them back within 5 minutes after realizing that you have a pretty hard life. So don’t even second guess yourself for a moment because your resilience is going to help you get past any hardship that you encounter.
3. You have a good internal compass — You’re a pretty intuitive person. You may have those moments of doubt and even have a nervous break down or two, but deep down inside you know it’s going to be alright. You’re not one who “hopes” that everything’s going to be alright but has faith that it will all be play out. Call it God or the Universe, you firmly believe that there’s a divine power orchestrating all these affairs and you’ll be taken care of. As you know, in the end it always works out so why worry so much?
4. Karma is your friend — As a believer in karma, you’ve helped others, gave charity, smiled at a stranger for no reason and even gave up your seat to allow the old uncle to sit on the bus. Karma is one of those forces which never forgets, in fact some traditions say that everything you put out comes back at you times 3! So all those little nuggets of humanity you contributed towards to your fellow man are going to come in handy for this time of upheaval. You’re a good person and karma’s definitely looking out for you.
5. Life is helping you grow — This one’s a little more philosophical one but ancient philosophies teach us that our experience on this earth is a test. The more hardships we face the more opportunities for us to evolve spiritually. Ask Dr.MLK, Joan of Ark or Malcolm X if they became who they became without ever having to facing any adversity. 10 times of 10 they will tell you that all of the hardships they faced in life were the catalyst for helping them become genuine and great leaders. You may not be leading a pack of activists on the footsteps of the Washington Monument to protest civil rights but the mere fact that you are more emotionally supportive today of your loved ones than you may have been in the past shows that you’re growing as a person. Everyday you allow life to throw curve balls at you and you take them with stride. It’s you’re very own internal growth that’s helping you make sure that everything’s going to be just fine.

After reading this I’m sure you don’t think you’re situation’s so bad anymore. You’re a pretty strong person and your resilience is off the charts. You should really owe it to yourself and tap yourself on the back. You may not know it but many people look up to you. With this in mind, go out there into the world with the awareness that everyday is a blessing for you to experience and that you are a bad ass who’s not only going to get through any situation but thrive within it.